I’m really sorry for the sparse posting and scarce content when I do. Things will be back to normal soon. August is a crazy month, especially with our move coming up in 10 days.

I really appreciate all of the wonderful support that I’ve been offered by perfect strangers. I’ll be back soon, please don’t give up on me. I read everything that’s sent my way, and one day soon I’ll sit down and return all of the e-mails and comments.

We went to the beach this morning and going down a steep set of old brick stairs I lost my footing and fell hard on my left knee, skinning it to heck and back, plus I twisted my right ankle. No exercise for me. I should be worried but I’m going to think positive. For now.

Currently Listening:

Mercy (Dancing for the Death of an Imaginary Enemy) by Ours

Housing down, job to go.

So, here we go, starting with this morning the 29th, and going back each day until the 26th. You’ll notice on the 27th, something fantastic happened to my toes. That something was DH! He bought the polish and he painted them for me. Pedicures are no longer in the budget now that we’re crossing our fingers (and toes) for the bigger place, so DH has decided to pamper me every Saturday night with a fresh color for Sunday. Ah, love.

On the hate front… well, see below.

I am longing to be below 200 before our anniversary in mid-August, but it ain’t looking good.

29th

28th

27th

26th

I was sitting on the floor cleaning up various paperwork I’d been sorting, and DS was on the futon behind me playing his Nintendo DS. I started to stand up and place a stack of papers on the bookshelf, and I heard this loud rumble, like a big truck was passing by or a helicopter was flying too low. Then it felt like someone violently shoved me from behind and I nearly fell. Before I could ask DS what the heck was wrong with him; why would he push me, the floor turned to Jello and the rumbling kicked into high gear.

DS’ response? “WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! This is FUN Mommy!!”

My response? A bit of panic that it would get worse, and a lunge to grab DS, then our TV and Wii before they toppled over.

The shaking was pretty violent as far as all of our stuff was concerned. The floor movement, though, is what really freaked me out. It just felt like everything was rolling. And then, maybe 8-10 seconds after it started, it stopped. I was dialing DH before the last rumble was finished. When I heard his voice I immediately started to cry. He was on the bus at the time and he said it was a very strange sensation, because the bus started swaying back and forth and the driver thought she was losing control. When the noise started in full, they finally realized what it was.

Initially, it was said to be a 5.6, but was downgraded to a 5.4. There have been 34 aftershocks as I type this, but we only felt one here, and it registered a 3.6.

The best part? And let me warn you, I couldn’t make this up if I tried. All of our pictures on the wall are crazy crooked now, except for one. The portrait of Jesus.

So, yeah, 300 sq. ft. for a family of 3 is pushing things to the brink of where they can go. On one hand it was super, because we purged almost everything and now we’re not trapped in a house full of useless clutter that I have to find the motivation to dust and hide when company comes over. However, here, there is no company coming over. Where would they fit? For Mormons, this is a big issue. People always want to come over.

So I’ve been halfheartedly looking around for an apartment. We’ve never lived in an apartment before (although I lived in plenty of them in my single days), and I was trying to avoid it, because neighbors a yard away can be bad enough, much less being on the other side of your wall or on top of you. But the California market being what it is, we simply can’t afford a larger rental house right now, and we certainly cant afford to buy yet. Through my searches for a new place, I realized we actually found a pretty spectacular deal on the place we have. This was not good.

Saturday evening I found an ad for an apartment with two whole bedrooms, an amazingly reasonable price for this area, and they were having an open house on Sunday. So after Church, we headed over to check it out. It was perfect. And HUGE. Based on my quick measurements, it was just under 1,000 sq. ft. We won’t even know what to do with so much space, we have so little now. But the pure joy on our son’s face of being able to just run around and have room to play was enough. We filled out an application and left a deposit.

Now I’m in this horrible mode, because as the spouse I’m required to be on the application, even though DH is the financially responsible one. My credit sucks. I made some stupid, stupid, STUPID mistakes when I was a teenager and thought I was in love with a boy who was only taking advantage of me - and my credit, without my knowledge. When it became impossible for me to pay it back, not to mention have a clue on how to fix it, , I just had to let it go. Enough time has passed that I’m finally able to begin cleaning up my credit report, but it’s a tedious process. I was too young and too stupid to do what I should have done then, and have that jerk arrested for fraud and a myriad of other things, but I didn’t, so the blame and responsibility stayed with me. Not to mention that identity theft laws and reactions were far different ten years ago than they are now, and even now they’re sorely lacking.

So here we have this great apartment, it’s almost too perfect, and we may not get it because of my credit. I was honest with the lady and told her what she’d find on the report, and she said that if everything checks out as I say, then we shouldn’t have a problem because everything is so old. I sincerely hope that she was telling me the truth. I am trying to stop myself from wanting this place because it’s not a done deal, but it’s difficult. I want our baby to have a bedroom where he actually has room to play. I can keep sleeping on the couch forever, no biggie, but he needs more than what he has, which isn’t much. I feel guilty for taking him from a huge house into a teeny one on our whim and hopes and dreams, and never giving him the choice or even much of a warning.

So there’s the new place, and then there’s also the new job that DH interviewed for last week. If we get the apartment, and he gets the job, he’ll be working a half mile from our house. No more bus pass to buy and no more bus to ride! For him, that will save him 4 hours per day of public transportation commute, which is HUGE. The new job will come with more money, which will cover the increase in rent. The new place also puts DS in the best schools in our district, which is a bonus I won’t overlook. I’m scared poopless of him mainstreaming into kindergarten. I’m elated about it, because - HELLO - major progress and hard work on his part, but I have a healthy fear of how cruel kids can be and I don’t want anything to make him lose his love of school.

Oy. Prayer is the word of the day.

He did not utter a word until he was two years old, and since then it has been a lot of therapy to get him to where he is. There are days when I wish he would stop talking because he talks so much now, and I want to smack myself silly on those days. That little voice is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard.

What is something mom always says to you?

I love you.

I love you.

What makes mom happy?

Spending time with my boys.

A girly dress. Mommy, do I get to play my game soon? If I do dis?

What makes mom sad?

Missing my parents.

Needing a haircut.

How does mom make you laugh?

I sing silly songs in my best opera singer voice.

You are sneaky and you scare me!

What was mom like as a child?

A lot like you, always exploring things and testing my Mom’s limits. And I liked to be alone.

You prolly didn’t drive our car then.

How old is mom?

28

Fifteen eighty. Not too old. But you know a-lotsa stuff, so maybe old old?

How tall is mom?

5′6″

Bigger.

What is mom’s favorite thing to do?

Take photographs.

Take pictures.

What does mom do when you’re not around?

Clean. Watch bad reality TV.

Make more pictures and prolly some workjobs too.

If mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

Photography. More likely, for being married to someone famous.

Because you would be a beauuuutiful mermaid!

What is mom really good at?

Learning new things.

Video games.

What is mom not very good at?

Cooking.

Killing ants.

What is mom’s job?

I’m a Mom and a Photographer.

You do workjobs with your computer and big camera.

What is mom’s favorite food?

Cheeses and berries and BREAD.

Chicken.

What makes you proud of mom?

I think he is proud of knowing that I love him unconditionally and that I will always be here for him.

Because I am proud of all of our hugs and loves. Can I play my game now?

If mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Transformer Bumblebee, because I love music so much and use it to express myself. Plus yellow makes me happy.

The Tankman. Because he is open fire and super tough and he is a boss.

*Note: I believe Tankman is someone he invented, because I’ve never heard of him and neither has Google.

What do you and mom do together?

Play games, sing songs, wrestle, play chase, ride bikes, and shop.

We ride bikes and play games.

How are you and mom the same?

We have the same smile and we’re both very loving.

Because I love you so much and you love me so much.

How are you and mom different?

He has blue eyes and looks just as much like Daddy as he does me.

I go to school. What about now? To play my game?

How do you know mom loves you?

I tell him and show him every day.

Because you hug me and talk sweet even when I make a mess.